The Moment of Pause
Life has a way of surprising us, often when we least expect it. These moments, sometimes referred to as "life quakes," can upend our routines, shift our perspectives, and force us to reevaluate what truly matters. A sudden job loss, an unexpected health diagnosis, the end of a relationship, or even a positive yet overwhelming change like the birth of a child or a career promotion - these events often leave us reeling, searching for solid ground.
Let me illustrate this with an example from real life. Years of hard work and commitment to her career has allowed my client to reach executive leadership positions. For the sake of the story, let's call her Anna. Anna’s resume highlights several impressive achievements, and a combination of deep industry insight and excellent people skills has made her not only a popular leader but also someone praised for her ability to spot and nurture talent in others. Over the years I have known her, her attention to those around her during times of change has always stood out. However, when it comes to her own personal priorities and needs, taking care of herself has sometimes been her blind spot.
Like most industries, her current employer is adapting to significant changes in market dynamics, requiring new leadership priorities and skills. Over time, Anna has moved into more strategic roles with limited interaction with people, ultimately diminishing her passion and joy slowly but steadily over time. With restructuring sweeping through the organization and no clear next step on her professional path, Anna now stands at a crossroads in her career.
As her coach, there is nothing I can do to prevent the kind of life quake she is experiencing right now. Both of us understand that disruption, imbalance, and lack of control are inevitable parts of life. We also agree that these same challenges often serve as the catalysts for something new - and sometimes even better - to emerge from the cracks.
One of my favorite quotes by Viktor Frankl goes: “The flow of life is often not in our control. But how we respond to it is.” As I try to live by these words myself and consider the sentiment to be a cornerstone of my coaching practice, I know that most of us need a moment to absorb what is happening and little by little understand the consequences of whatever is unfolding.
No matter the potential for growth, it doesn’t negate the uncertainty and pain that often accompany such life quakes. Feeling stuck in the fog of disruption rarely feels pleasant or positive. However, allowing ourselves the chance to sit still in these moments can provide the pause we need to process and move forward.
One of the key lessons I’ve learned from maneuvering through my own rocky life stages and supporting others in reestablishing balance, is the importance of distinguishing between the time we need to understand what’s happening and the (re)action that drives our response. Ignoring or trying to rush through the former will inevitably impact the latter, ultimately shaping the way we proceed.
Taking this kind of moment - this pause - is what allows us to recreate just enough balance to gain clarity, weigh our options, and make decisions aligned with our overall journey and flow.
When you allow yourself the time to catch your breath, pay attention to your inner-self, and take care of your needs you create the space necessary to identify solutions and actions that can guide you in the right direction. It’s this mindful pause that enables you to make decisions that truly serve you.
In my current sessions with Anna, we are focusing on ways for her to stay balanced while reconnecting with what brings her joy and meaning. While she may not fully appreciate the value of this work right now, I know that these insights will become invaluable pointers as she navigates through the fog. As we both know, my job right now is to help her pay attention, create space, and appreciate the need for a moment of pause.
Love,
Sille